Legacy of Bob’s Failures in Zimbabwe
Saved under News, Politics, SOUTHERN AFRICA, Zimbabwe
Tags: Cecil John Rhodes, First Lady Grace Mugabe, Grain Marketing Board, Potholes in Zimbabwean roads, President Robert Mugabe, Zanu-PF
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My people,
The more I read newspapers, the more I become convinced that the last 36 years have been spent living off the fat and infrastructure that was left by the Rhodesians.
I may have missed out on a lot of developments because as a typist, I have generally depended on gossip from my intricate network of informers.
I was shocked to read somewhere in The Horrid that the majority of the grain silos owned by the Grain Marketing Board, (GMB) are in a state of disrepair.
The obvious question to ask would be what the former and current ministers of agriculture have been doing or not doing since 1980?
We can excuse Made because he has volunteered to be part-time foreman at our farms.
What have the former CEOs at the GMB been doing at the organisation?
Even more worrying is that some of the most recent CEOs were super patriots who died for this country during the war and later served in the security arms.
The GMB needs $31 million and they are running all over the place looking for that money.
But already, people are beginning to make all sorts of unreasonable suggestions like instead of buying a ring worth $1,3 million, I should channel that money towards the repair of the grain silos.
That is a problem for the poor peasants, not mine.
There is a very dangerous rumour which you people have been circulating that the country does not have money because I took most of it.
Others are even making malicious claims that the missing $15 billion is paying for the $500 000 per annum luxurious villa that we are renting in Dubai.
Of course all accusations are false. The money that we spend comes from our loss-making businesses, kkkkkkk!
Jealous people argue that $500 000 per year is enough to buy medical drugs for many district and provincial hospitals.
What nonsense!
Wayward people are suggesting that before The Bobster met me, his first wife did not encourage extravagant and primitive accumulation of wealth.
It’s like you people are blaming me for the fact that The Bobster loves the finer things in life.
Of course, he used to get his medical attention in Egypt, Cuba and China but it makes sense to move to Singapore.
Because it is more expensive!
Did you not hear that during a recent Cabinet meeting, Mboko announced that: “This room is full of thieves.” I wonder what he meant by that given that it is common knowledge that when all those patriotic revolutionaries go into politics, the motivation for many is a common one; theft and plunder of national resources.
I will not comment about some juicy details about wives, friends or relatives of very senior police officers.
And I mean wives of very senior police officers allegedly caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
Kkkkkkk. The police have rushed to the media to try and correct what is emerging from court processes. Is that legal? If it is, then we have a very interesting country.
People First One, People First Two and soon People First Three.
I hope Joice and company in what I call the People Last Party, which they call People First, have good memories. I doubt they have any good memories so I will try to remind them.
At the formation of their political outfit, they were warned by the Dear Comrade Brother and Iconic Supreme African Revolutionary who single-handedly liberated Zimbabwe and Africa from white colonial control that their white-sponsored project was doomed.
He warned them that soon we would have People First Two, People First Three and so on as they began to disintegrate. I hate to say we told you so. Even extremely loyal Sylvester Nguni who has been with Joice for a long time has abandoned ship.
Or maybe he will be coming back clandestinely.
No venue or date for obscene Bob feast
Looks like that five-year long “moment of madness” which resulted in more than 20 000 civilian deaths at the hands of armed government soldiers continues to haunt The Bobster and the party.
Just what is the date and venue for the splurge? After having been moved away from what people perceived to be too close to genocide mass graves, the venue was reportedly moved to a primary school run by funds from Cecil John Rhodes.
There are new calls to move the event to another less divisive place. Gay 40 want to retain the Rhodes place while Lacoste want another venue.
The fact that Rhodes colonised the country has made some people in the revolutionary movement uncomfortable. They say the fact that Rhodes was a closet homosexual is not an issue at all.
Cry the beloved country
It was rather sobering to read in the newspapers that products that we used to manufacture here are now being smuggled into the country from South Africa. Contraband of jik, Harpic and other items of household use were intercepted at the border.
Another lasting legacy of The Bobster on how to run down a country.
Munhuwese kuna Amai!
Umasalu wezwelonke!
The First Shopper!
Dr Amai Stopit! Ph.D (Fake)
